Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Appendicitis

Some people have split personality and we can never fathom, guess, forecasts or know in advance what they will do & hurt us. Therefore, I hope we try our best to handle these people carefully & we can live happily. We try not to dwell too much because we never what will happen to us the very next moment. Everyday we are working hard, in work, at home & with family. These few days or weeks, we are busy shopping and buying xmas gifts for children, friends and family members. We are so drained out and affected our moods esp when we still have not finish buying. This is what I mean. Life is so ironic. We meet yesterday to pray for pa pa birthday, then went to do some shopping in Isetan Orchard and afterwhich we parted for home have dinner. Today after lunch, my youngest sis called and told me she is in SGH !! My heart is pumping hard because I was so shocked and later she told me she is suspected appendicitis & is now under observation. At about 8plus, we visited her and she is still in pain. She was injected with pain killer before we arrived. Her threshold for pain is low and I hope she can withstand it for doc to remove the appendicitis & the pain will be gone. I will give her my power for withstanding pain because I give birth to Aston without epidural. Together we will ride the pain & I wish for her speedy recovery.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Last words Part 2

Two Saturdays ago, Lianting told me dad also mentioned to mum abt next time she needs to cook for the family & what she needs to take note abt the dishes for their three sons in law. I felt so sad, make me miss dad and crying inside when I heard these words.
Elder son-in-law : do not eat ginger so do not cook it with dark sauce pork meat.
Third son-in-law : do not eat onions so do not fry it with omelette egg.
Fourth son-in-law : he eats everything.

Dad is surely so doting to them. He can be uneducated but he exhibits warmth & take note what we eat and what we do not. He is sensitive daddy which is a virtue in most guys that is so lacking in them nowadays.

Then we told mum not to bother to remember who and who dun eat this and dun eat that becos it will become very difficult for her to cook for us. Recently, I start to see dark sauce pork meat with ginger and omelette onion egg cooked by mum. Lawrence & Xianfeng, be "chin cai" la..

Thursday, November 08, 2007

More than words can say

It's been long time since I dreamt of you. At times I will think how you are in the other world. Did you eat well and are you lonely ? Feel so sad not able to know your well being.

These are some words from Lianting, Richmond, Shuang and Ping : -

Dad Birthday coming

LT : I wonder....is it true we can't celebrate a deceased person's Birthday? I recalled, we did not celebrate our Dad's birthday last Dec after he passed away in July 06. 11 Dec is Dad's birthday, I remembered singing him a Birthday song in my heart last Dec, the inside pain is unbearable and no ones know about this. Everyone in the family feels for my Dad and misses him in different ways, we don't share openly and don't really bring up his name when we gather every weekend. Something is missing somewhere for me but this is something which I need to accept. I miss Dad in my silence ways, also don't share openly and never thought of updating in Dad's blog. Today, suddenly I have the urge to volunteer to update my inner feelings here.

Shuang : yes i share the same thoughts, everyone of us remember and miss dad in different way, and no one wants to bring it up openly. and yes, perhaps last year on his birthday, everyone just dun wish to bring up it's dad's birthday, i only told xf that it's my dad's birthday but didn't 'remind' you all about it.

Rich : I guess for me, when LT mentioned, she was abit down he was no longer with us but on the other hand, we should also celebrate his life and what he has done for the family.
I believe what he has done for the family was the best he knew how and brought up 4 lovely daughters and a son. His patience and tolerance towards each member of the family can be seen, even myself through my initial introduction to the family. These are his virtues and he is blessed to have them to compliement mother's character and the family's.

Shuang : my thoughts is dad definitely has his shortcomings which alot of time we were pretty upset over it and alot of time we over-react to it, but come to think of it, now i personally think more of his goodness than his shortcomings, i think of how honest my dad is and how his honesty deeply print in my mind and i still remember that i actually wrote him in one of my composition during my primary school days regarding how honest my dad is when he picked up a pack of $$ and hand it over to the police instead of keeping it for himself, and how he told us 'we can be poor but never be greedy'. and i think of how much he love everyone of us without showing favouritism. and i think of how much support he has given me during my confinement days when having keith. and i think of during my days working in fritz logistics that he fry rice early in the morning for me to bring to work for my lunch almost everyday, and his daily phone calls without fail everyday to ask if i'm going back to eat (and even ridiculously tell me dun go back my in-laws' place for dinner when i told him i can't go back on every thursday), and i think of how jie forced me to return her $$ and dad push $100 to me because he know i dun have pocket $$ for the rest of the month.... i can't continue to write anymore....as i'm getting emotional.....

LT : my tears has rolled down liao.Shuang seldom share and this piece of sharing is marvellous i can say!
I also recalled how Dad in his low and unable to speak clearly state, repeatly told mum at least 2 to 3 times to leave me & richmond all the $$ he left after he died. He really so loving and caring towards all of us.

Shuang : yes with just that little $$ he has he just want to give all to you, hoping to help you in any way he can, and maybe that could ease his worry a little. i strongly believe he's blessing us now in whatever ways he can, if we believe we can feel it.

LT : at that moment, i was so touched and held back my tears but Mum made my tears rolled down when she asked Dad if he wants to continue to get red packet from her next year(which is this year), Dad gently answered her: "Yes"
yes, i also believe he's giving us his blessing, may he bless me & Rich a child when is the right time. Dad will be the first one to know the Good news.

Ping : I really wanted to share that I was telling mum yesterday while am rocking Charlton "how nice if dad is around & he can see my twins. mum's reply is it's all er gu gu fault.

LT : ya, mum still have grudges against er gu gu however, she never show disrespectful when see er gu gu. somehow, we don't have proof against her so can't do and talk much, not fair to her

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Pa Pa How are you ?

I am depressed today. Surf the net and decided to visit Dad's blog and read the journal we wrote for him. I teared and kept tearing when I read this part..

"It only lasted for a while, slowly slowing his breathing gets weaker & weaker and he ended his breathing at 225pm. Dad has passed away peacefully with all his children, my mum & relative around his bed. He wanted to live much longer but he cannot. He fight the illness bravely for one year. We rode the difficult times together with him and now he is gone. I still feel that he is around us, he has not leave us. I miss him badly. I have no chance to call him pa pa, no more chance to taste his good cooked food. He will not call us anymore to ask are you coming back for dinner, today your payday rem give me money, we will not get angry anymore with him for smoking, he cannot see how his grandchildren grow up, he cannot accompany mum to market on weekends, he cannot watch the next world cup with us "

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Praying at Toa Payoh Temple

The last time we pray to dad was during father's day. On Sunday 9Sep, we visited dad and bot him laksa, coffee and mooncake.

Aston made a comment to Lianting.
Here's their conversation :
A : Xiaoyi, dun be sad later when you bai bai to wai gong. Dun cry, ok.
L : I will not cry
A : Let's see later
Oh my, Aston is really attentive to our expressions and so he remembers what happen the last visit. We chuckled over this interesting conversation.

Mum again remind Lianting not to visit dad so often and to only remember him in our hearts. But Lianting seems not to agree to mum's advice and she will continue visit dad regularly.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

881 Movie

Last night, we (Mum, Jie, me, Lianting and Richmond) went to watch Movie 881@Tampines Mall GV. This is I think the 1st movie I watch with them. Though tickets are expensive, we enjoyed the show alot. Esp we keep humming the song "Yi Ren Yi Ban". We also cried when we heard the song sang by late Chen Jin Lang on his hospital song. It reminded us abt dad.



Listen to some of their songs here:
十二连花 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mupnIQJoIY
野花不要采 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiRnT2q-z9Y
一人一半 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ForZY9Zj5gQ

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Chao Du

Time really passed so fast. Dad has passed away for one yr. Wonder how is he now and what he is doing. Cannot help to miss him. The family members miss him in different ways ; Lianting visit dad 3 times per week in the Toa Payoh temple, she told me just few weeks back she cannot get used to the daily 3pm to talk to dad and now that dad is no longer around, her miss is intense so she decided to visit him and talk to him in the temple. I cried inside when I hear this. Becos I was pregnant, somehow my miss for dad is minimised cos I have a big tummy to take care.
Mum's miss for dad is the continued nags that dad did not blessed him to strike 4D or TOTO. Mum lost someone so dearly to her and no longer can't nag personally. Two weeks ago, we participated in the yearly Chao Du at Xian Gu temple. We are happy cos this is the only time and chance we can talk to dad and get to know his well-being. Xian Gu told Gor Kim that dad is very very sad and cant bear to return to their homes, we teared when we hear this. Dad is still around us, he cannot bear to leave us but what can we do. He has left us and that is the fact.